Nothing really prepares you for a phone call from Princess Margaret Hospital.  It was a rainy day in July – Vic was away at an event and Charlotte had just shoved 4 peas up her nose and I couldn’t get them out and my family doctor wanted me to bring her in.  Not that big of deal really – she had put peas up her nose before… but the mix of possibly being diagnosed with Cancer and your 18month old having peas stuck up your nose is … let’s say a bit of a cluster fuck.

The phone call I got was on July 17th and it went something like this…

PMH Receptionist: “Hello… my name is Sally from Princess Margaret Hospital, your Doctor1 has referred you to an Oncologist and your appointment is Monday morning at 8:00am. Do you have a pen handy?”

Me: “Umm… so I guess that means that my biopsy results aren’t so great?”

PMH Receptionist: “…. (long pause followed by even longer silence) – so you haven’t spoken to your doctor?”

Me: “Nope.”

PMH Receptionist: “I’ll have to call you back.” -hang up without saying goodbye.

Me: WTF??!!

The fact that it was a friday afternoon and the woman on the phone said that my appointment was on Monday at 8:00am was alarming.  Terrifying actually.   I assumed that it wasn’t great news… but to be left hanging, home alone with two babies on a rainy day was not ideal.  All I could think was… I can’t FUCKING believe that Charlotte has 4 fucking peas stuck up her nose! OMG!!!! WTF?  Do I have cancer?  Jesus!! Fuck. fuck… Fuck.

After many calls back and forth to the hospital and the clinic where I got my biopsy done I got a call back from my doctor.

Doctor 1: “I’m sorry, I gather you have figured out by now you have cervical cancer – I’m sorry that PMH called you before I got a chance to, I’ve been trying to get you in right away and they got to you first.”

Me: “I figured it wasn’t a good sign with the lady from PMH didn’t ask if I wanted a PMH Lotto Ticket. So what happens next?”

Doctor 1: “We send you to see PMH to see Doctor2 and they will send you for an MRI, CT Scan & blood work and then wait for more results.”

Me: Overwhelmed.