Off the grid…

It’s been 12 days since my last treatment at the hospital.  In the last 12 days I’ve never felt exhaustion like I have before – even during my treatment.  Perhaps it’s that old saying that when you stop you crash and things ‘catch up to you’.  It’s been amazing to allow my body to rest and also have the time to spend with my family.  Although I’m done my first phase of treatment, today I return to the hospital for my internal radiation called brachytherapy.

Brachytherapy is an advanced cancer treatment. Radioactive seeds or sources are placed in or near the tumor itself, giving a high radiation dose to the tumor while reducing the radiation exposure in the surrounding healthy tissues. 

For this treatment I am admitted to the hospital for a couple of days and I’ll do the same next week and then we might follow up with some more external radiation to boost the brachytherapy.  I’m in good tired spirits but don’t have much to say the last couple of weeks.  It’s funny, sometimes when your reading those cancer stories you hear them say that the moment they were diagnosed the world stops and things turn fuzzy and you kind of tune out the world and things seem in slow motion.  That didn’t happen to me when I was first diagnosed but I can say for sure now that in the last two weeks I have had moments of fading out… watching the world go by and things seem a bit fuzzy.  Something as simple as a bike going by or watching the leaves sway and turn yellow and orange makes me emotional.  I’ve always loved the season’s, it means change but it also puts a time stamp on life… which lately has been a grey area for me.  On another amazing note – my recent MRI results have shown that the tumour that was 3cm has shrunk to 1.2cm … cue the music!!  So… “they” say that radiation/chemo is doing what is suppose to do.  My lymph nodes are still reading as inflamed which has them a bit concerned but we are following up with some radiation to boost the brachytherapy in hopes that it will help and a possible PET scan to read if cancer cells are in fact existing in the lymph nodes.  After my last radiation treatment we wait to see if treatment was successful and that can take up to 3-6months and sometimes longer.

We have been documenting everything so I decided to send you some photo love with a lots and lots of photos of the last couple of weeks.  For everyone writing, calling and sending the most amazing thoughtful gifts thank you so much and I appreciate everything that you all are doing to help me and give me all your support. Although I may have not answered your call, text, email, note in the mail please know that I am loving all the love… feeling tired but myself and positive that my treatment is working.  Hugs. xoxo

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